


The Worst Part

by multishippinghoe



Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Hallie - Freeform, Post Season 1, Slow Burn, season 2 hopes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:29:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23990827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multishippinghoe/pseuds/multishippinghoe
Summary: The Society post season 1; through all the bullshit Allie has faced in the past few days that led to her imprisonment she can't help but keep thinking about that one conversation in the coffee shop. She can't stop thinking about the hope Harry Bingham gave her for the future. She can't stop thinking about Harry Bingham.
Relationships: Harry Bingham & Allie Pressman, Harry Bingham/Allie Pressman
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	1. wine cellars and vulnerability

Allie didn’t realize how tired she was from constantly carrying the burden of responsibility of 200+ teenagers till it was taken away. The second she was alone, locked away in the wine cellar in which her sister’s murderer was held, she couldn’t keep her eyes open. Even though she was extremely uncomfortable, since the last thing Campbell was concerned about was making sure Allie had a place to sleep, let alone a blanket, sleep overcame her.  
When she woke up a few hours later from a knocking sound, she was confused and groggy. Allie had not slept that well in months. However, her neck hurt from laying on the concrete floor and she was starting to get very cold. She looked up to see where the sound was coming from and locked eyes with the last person she wanted to see;  
Harry fucking Bingham.  
He looked wrecked. The bags under Harry’s eyes shadowy and sunken in. His eyes were frantically scanning Allie, trying his best not to make eye contact. His hands were fidgeting, and he could not keep them still. Harry’s mouth kept opening and closing, like he wanted to say something but had no idea where to start.  
Allie kind of felt bad for him because he looked so pathetic, and this infuriated her. She knew she should hate him after everything he has done. After he spoke those horrendous words that led to Cassandra’s murder and after being involved in this current mess that led her to be imprisoned. She should be furious that he is working with Campbell, an abuser and known psychopath.  
But a part of her was still concerned. Concerned because she has seen Harry at his lowest, the day she visited him in his room. She saw with her own eyes that Harry was not okay, and sure she tried to help. But she couldn’t help but think what would have happened if she tried harder. If instead of walking out of that room and having the guard strip him of half his rations, she could have stayed. She could have not pulled away when he reached out to her. She could have sent the guard away and climbed into his bed to sit with him. She could have tried to have a genuine conversation. She could have done a lot of things, but what she can’t do is change the past.  
So instead here she is; sitting on the concrete floor, starring up at the guy she should hate, but can’t find it in herself. So instead of playing the angry card, or the mayor car, or the fearless card, she decided to drop her mask. Even though she had just slept for hours, she was still exhausted. Exhausted of being the rock for everyone else and exhausted of pushing down her emotions so she wouldn’t seem weak.  
Tears started to swell up in Allies eyes, and for the first time in months Allie let them fall free. She felt so small, curling her knees up into her chest and letting her forehead rests on her knees as she sobbed, all right in front of Harry. She could hear Harry moving, but she did not realize how close he was till he was sitting right next to her. She could sense how tense he was, like he didn’t know what to do next. When he softly pressed his hand between her shoulder blades, she resented herself for taking comfort in him and his warmth.  
She whispered a soft “don’t” under her breath, so low she wasn’t actually sure Harry would hear her. Or at least until he swiftly pulled his hand back into his own lap. Allie hated how much she missed the contact. Something about her and Harrys relationship, if you can even call it that, has always revolved around physical touch. Something within her wants to reach out and just hold his hand. She wants to squeeze his hand so she can feel him squeeze back. Or she wants to rest her head on his shoulder. Or even just rest her knee against his. But she shouldn’t, so she doesn’t. They sat there for a while in the silence, she half expected Harry to leave by now. Yet he was still here, and she didn’t think he would go till someone talked. She finally built up the courage to say something once she gained control over her sobs.  
“I keep going over it in my head. Over and over again. Trying to patch together when everything went to shit. Trying to figure out what I did wrong, what I should have done differently. Don’t you just love the fact that I was falsely imprisoned by the people I worked so hard to keep alive, yet I am still punishing myself? It’s kind of ironic” she half whispered along with a humorless laugh.  
His eyes met hers suddenly when she finished speaking. He looked lost, like he had no clue what the hell she was talking about. He muttered a soft “what?” and searched her eyes for answers. His desperate deep eyes met allies’ soft blue ones and she broke the eye contact like it burned. He waited a few moments before speaking again, a little surer of himself this time.  
“I never thought it would go this far. I knew Campbell wanted you out of the mayor position and I knew Campbell would try to make you look like the bad guy. But I never actually thought it would fucking work. And I definitely never knew he would lock you up, especially in this shit hole. Obviously, I don’t expect you to believe me though.”  
Allie didn’t know how to take this information. It doesn’t make it okay whatsoever, even if it is true. She didn’t know how to respond, so she didn’t. Instead they went back to sitting in silence, which was oddly comfortable. She started to go over it again in her thoughts. And she kept replaying one conversation over and over again.  
“Want to know the worst part?” Allie asked, finally returning the eye contact he craved.  
“yeah?” Harry responded, looking much less frantic than when he originally came in.  
“Do you remember our conversation at the coffee shop right before the debate? It was the first time I saw you after I visited your room, and you looked much better. I didn’t fully believe that everything was okay, but it was relief to see you smiling again. And then we talked about this other world, where we worked together and were on the same page. Maybe even friends, maybe...” the words transitioned from a whisper to nothing as she realized what she almost said. Harry’s face was blank, and she had no idea what he was thinking, so she continued gently  
“I think the worst part of all this was that the conversation gave me hope. Every choice I have made as mayor always seemed like the right thing to do for the collective good of our survival. And every choice was the best option I could think of. But I was terrified every time. Terrified I wasn’t doing the best I could and terrified of disappointing Cassandra.”  
Harry tensed at the mention of Cassandra, but remained silent to let her continue  
“That conversation with you was the only time I was hopeful for the future and not fucking terrified of the unknown. For once I actually thought that everything would be okay and maybe, just maybe, people might be happy one day. Not just alive, not just successfully functioning, but happy.”  
Allie didn’t mean for her next sentence to sound so bitter but explaining her vulnerabilities out loud to Harry made her realized it really is fucked up, and she deserved better. Her soft blue eyes shifted to stone-cold blue.  
“I’m sure you can imagine how pathetic I felt when I realized how ridiculous and one sided it all was. I should have known you were just a selfish, rich boy who only cared about himself like Cassandra said.”  
She knew mentioning Cassandra was a dick move, especially since she didn’t blame Harry for her death. The things he said about her were disgusting, but Dewey is the fucked up one who shot her. And he probably would have hurt someone anyway, whether Harry prompted it or not.  
But Allie did not care right now. She was mad, and more importantly she was upset. She really did feel pathetic and she hates herself for caring about him. She can’t stand the fact that he gave her false hope. Most of all she can’t stand that Harry Bingham is the worst part of Campbell’s plan. She should be most upset with the fact that Lexie is co-mayor, the Lexie who has no fucking idea how to run a town. Or the fact that Elle is out there having to act like she loves Campbell, having to live with an abuser. Or that winter is coming, and she’s scared that a blizzard will come and wipe the power out, and it won’t come back on. Or that even though Grizz found land, they won’t be able to learn to farm. Or that she will never get to meet Becca and Sam’s baby. Or Will. She should definitely be most worried about Will. Especially since she doesn’t even know where they are holding him. But no. The worst part of this shit whole is that Harry fucking Bingham gave her false hope, and she STILL cannot get herself to hate him. And that fucking sucks.  
She was so caught up in her own anger that his words startled Allie.  
“It wasn’t one sided. And the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you” Harry stated.  
This infuriated Allie. She was practically yelling at him in a flash of anger within seconds, her words dripping with venom.  
“You didn’t want to hurt me? Is that some kind of fucking joke? You accused me of something I didn’t do, you took away my job, arrested me, and then continued to discredit me in front of the entire fucking town. Congratulations Bingham, you went above and beyond the very thing you didn’t want to do. You practically signed my death certificate!”  
She could tell the part about signing her death certificate got under his skin because as soon as she said it his entire body flinched. She saw the panic flash into across his eyes, as if he hadn’t thought about what comes next. “What are you talking about?” Harry asked frantically, starting to breathe a little heavier. “You’re going to be fine, no one is fucking dying. It would never go that far.”  
Allies anger then faded and she returned to her original state of just being tired. She can tell that reality was setting in for the first time within Harry. She can recognize the -what have I done- look on anyone. So, she tries to collect herself before speaking again, not wanting Harry to have a full-blown panic attack.  
“What did you think was going to happen when you gave Campbell power? Did you think me and Will were going to get a fair trial? Or a community service sentence? A life sentence wouldn’t even satisfy Campbell, Harry. If Campbell has anything to do with my fate, then the only way this ends is with a bullet in my head.”  
Allie wonders if she looks as defeated as Harry does. He looked like his whole life was flipped upside down. Part of her wants to comfort him, which she knows is absolutely ridiculous. So instead she puts her mask back on and goes back to the Allie who holds it all in and shuts people out. She suddenly stands up, towering over the disheveled Harry and steadily tells him to leave.  
She can tell he wants to stay something, probably a promise he knows he can’t keep. But Allie doesn’t let him. She won’t let him give her false hope again. She won’t re-live the worst part. She can’t.


	2. Promises and Pink Rooms

As soon as Harry is out of the wine cellar he starts running. He runs right past Jason who is on the guard watch upstairs and right out the door. Harry can feel the anxiety clawing at him inside, slowly building up till Harry won’t be able to control it and he will have a full on panic attack. All Harry can concentrate on is getting home, so he just keeps running.

By the time he runs up his driveway, his lungs are burning, and his tears are begging to fall. His breathe is ragged and he is so close to losing any sense of control he has over his body. He runs straight into the kitchen counter, desperately searching for a brown paper bag on his mess of a counter. Once he finds what he is looking for he collapses on the floor, only supported by his back against the wall. Harry tries his best to think back to his therapy sessions he had to go to after his dad died. He tries to concentrate on the techniques he was taught to control himself. It takes a while, but Harry is able to somewhat compose himself eventually.

So here is The Harry Bingham, West Ham’s golden boy, sitting on the floor of his kitchen all alone thinking about how much of a fuck up he has become. Thinking about all the mistakes he has made. But most of all thinking about how he has let down the one person he never wanted to hurt in this entire shit hole of a town. He so desperately wants to take it all back. To go back to the day him and Allie played fugitive and do it all differently. To go back and never say those despicable things about Cassandra. Or maybe just go back to the day Allie came to his room to help him out of his depression and open up to her. He wanted more than anything to go back to the day that Campbell asked him to run for mayor so he could spit in his face for ruining everything.

But the reality of his situation is that he cannot go back and fix his mistakes, but he could do better starting now. The problem was that he wanted to help Allie so bad but had no clue how to.

He knows he can’t just get in his Maserati and drive over to the wine cellar to break Allie out and just escape into the world, as much as he wants to. He also knows that he can’t just come out with the truth to the town and hope everyone would believe him, because he would most likely just end up in a cell similar to Allies. What he knows is that if he wants to help Allie, he needs a plan and it needs to be gradual so Campbell can’t stop him before he even starts.

He also knows that if it wasn’t for his addiction, he would have never agreed to taking the governor position by force. Thus, that is where Harry decides to begin. Harry knows he has a problem, he has for a while now, but he was just to scared to admit it, both to himself and Kelly. Right know Harry has about 4 days’ worth of pills from Campbell upstairs in his bedside dresser. He also knows that he has little to no self-control at the moment. So, if he is going to do this right he needs to keep his goals in mind. As much as it pains him to keep thinking about Allies’ words about Campbell putting a bullet in her head, her life is the only motivation he has right now. Harry knows that he cannot just stop taking them all together because the withdrawal would be obvious to Campbell. Therefore, he takes his pills and cuts them in half, planning to stretch 4 days’ worth into 8. And after that he will cut his new batch from Campbell into thirds, until he can successfully get himself off the high within notifying Campbell.

He knows his plan is risky since it relies solely on his ability to self-prescribe, but he can’t take the chance of involving someone else. Harry is aware that Kelly or Gordie have the medical ability, or at least ability to research it, better than anyone in town. But that would put them in harms’ way, and he can’t risk Campbell hurting anyone else because of him. Harry doesn’t think he could handle the guilt of more blood on his hands. And he definitely could not live with Allie blaming him for another person’s death.

Harry knows that his plan will take time, and that for him to trust himself to save Allie he can’t be dependent on Campbell. But Harry is co-governor with Lexie, and he has hope that maybe his position of power can do some good right now.

The next day Allie is very surprised to see both Luke and Clarke come down the stairs, since it only takes one guard to give her the one out of two meals she gets a day, or bring her to the bathroom. She is even more surprised when they enter the cellar holding a black hood and handcuffs. Fear and anxiety overcome Allie has her mind starts running a mile a minute thinking of what they will possibly to do her. She remembers the way Clarke beat the shit out of Dewey in this cellar, constantly reminded by the patches of stained blood along the concrete. Right as she thinks she might begin to cry, her emotions getting the best of her, Luke speaks

“The governors have decided to move you to a different location for holding.”

Allie doesn’t know what to think of that because if this is Lexie’s doing, she fears being thrown into a situation much worse, possibly being humiliated by the guard just like they did to her in this cell. But if this is Harry’s doing maybe she doesn’t have much to fear, maybe this is his way of making her comfortable because he too realizes that he can’t prevent her death. Allie is so deep in her own thoughts that she doesn’t even realize her hands have been cuffed until her head is covered by the black hood.

Allie has not spoken in hours, so when she does, she almost doesn’t even recognize herself.

“Where am I being taken?” she whispers, fearful of how they will answer.

Clarke is the one to answer this time, as he roughly pulls her forward to start walking by the shoulder.

“Just walk.”

When the hood is roughly pulled off her head the first thing Allie is hit with is confusion. She is in a bedroom with light pink walls and fancy white furniture. She is sitting on a twin sized bed with a pink and blue butterfly comforter, with about 4 different stuff animal tigers stuffed between the pillows. It seems like the room of a young girl, probably around the age of 8 or 9 if Allie had to guess. The walls were covered in more butterfly decals, some One Direction posters pulled out of a Tiger Beat magazine, and some pictures messily taped onto the wall. Allie assumes that whoever’s room this is was not in New Ham. You can tell that it has not been lived in for a while. It has a somewhat eerie vibe like it is a museum display; meant for looking but not for touching.

A specific photo on the wall catches Allies eye and she suddenly understands where she is. The photo shows a young girl, probably around the age on 5, with dark brown eyes and wild curly brown hair thrown into a high ponytail. The young girl sitting on the shoulders of the one and only, Harry Bingham. Allie can’t help but notice that bright smiles on both of their faces and realizes that she hasn’t seen Harry look that carefree and full of joy since the night of fugitive.

Allie is pulled back to reality when Luke finally speaks as he uncuffs her wrists. She also realizes that Clarke has left, leaving only Luke and Allie in the room.

“You are going to be staying here in the Bingham house under a form of house arrest. One guard will be stationed outside this door and another down stairs. There is a bathroom attached to the room right there on the right.”

There’s a moment of awkward silence after Luke speaks, she can tell he wants to say more but is scared. So, before he can Allie just replies with thank you and turns her back to him to keep surveying the room. She expects him to leave then and go precede to his guard shift, but as he is half out the door he speaks like he can’t believe he almost forgot to tell her some hot gossip. Like this is a normal situation for 17 and 18 year old kids to be in.

“You should probably know that this was all Harry’s idea. Him and Lexie apparently got in a heated debate over it because he thought keeping you in the place we held Dewey would be cruel. He also convinced her to put Will on house arrest too, he has a room in Lexie’s house.”

Allie doesn’t know how she should respond. She also doesn’t know if Luke is telling her this information so she knows that Harry went out of his way to help her, even fighting Lexie over it. Or if he is telling her so she knows where Will is, and that he is okay. However, what really stands out to Allie is that Harry helped Will too. It’s no secret that Harry despises Will, which means that he didn’t do it for Will, but he did it for Allie.

Instead of answering Luke, since her throat has suddenly swelled up at this new information, she just nods. Apparently, that’s good enough for Luke because he finally leaves. Once Allie is alone at last, she lets out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding. She then decides to start looking around at her surroundings, trying to get a feel for the young girl that lived here before.

She noticed that someone had left clothing for her all folded up on a rocking chair in the corner of the room. It was 2 pairs of men’s sweatpants, 2 t-shirts and a sweatshirt. She knew they were Harry’s clothing by the smell of them. Harry has always had this unique smell, like a freshly out of the shower scent mixed with an expensive cologne. After changing from her super uncomfortable jeans and a sweater to Harry’s clothes that draped over her body, she continued to look around. The dresser top is littered with jewelry and children’s toys. Allie finds a delicate silver necklace with the name “Sarah” printed on it in script. Allie can’t help but think of West Ham and hope and pray that everyone left behind is okay.

She finds more pictures of young Sarah Bingham with Harry in a pile of photographs. There is one picture taken on the day Sarah was born at the hospital. Harry looks to be about 10 years old, his hair cut short, slightly longer than a buzzcut. He was wearing a faded green t-shirt, and he was glowing with excitement. Another picture showed Sarah and Harry in their backyard pool. Sarah was about 4 years old and in the most adorable purple lifejacket. Harry was mid cannon ball, wearing a classic red, white, and blue bathing suit and Sarah was sitting on the edge with her feet in the pool clapping as he jumped. A picture that Sarah has tapped to her mirror was taken more recently. By Harry’s costume, Allie recognized it as last year’s school production of Mary Poppins. Harry was in his Bert costume, of course playing the male lead once again, and had his arms tightly wrapped around his younger sister. In this photo you couldn’t see Sarah’s face, as it was squeezed between Harry’s head and shoulder, but you could see Harry’s face. He looked like he was on cloud nine. Allie longed for the Harry in these photos, the Harry who was at peace.

As Allie was placing the photo back onto the dresser, an envelope caught her eye. It was placed in the middle of a stack of photos, and when she pulled it out it had a small “A” written on the front. As she slowly opened the envelope, she found a piece of paper with the heading “ _Dear Allie”._ Her heart started to race as she realized that Harry his this on the dresser among the mess of photos and junk, meaning that it was meant for her eyes and her eyes only. She was terrified a member of the guard, or even worse, Campbell would come barging through her door at any moment and take the note away. She was also terrified to read what the note said. She didn’t know if her heart could handle anymore false hope.

But at last, Allies curiosity won over her tendency to guard her heart. She shuts off the main light to the room and turns on only the lamp by the bed. She gets under the covers before she opens the note to read it, hoping that if someone were to barge into the room she could stuff the note under the blanket before they realized.

_Dear Allie,_

_I know I have fucked up time and time again. And as much as I wish I could go back and fix all the stupid things I have done, I can’t. But I can try my best to help and prevent this from getting any worse. I truly am sorry for everything, you don’t deserve any of this._

_And I know you told me not to give you hope because you don’t want to be let down once again. And I realize I shouldn’t be making any promises that I can guarantee with 100% certainty. But I **promise** , with everything I got, that I will not let you die. I understand that you think that is the only possible outcome of the Campbell shit show, but it’s not. I won’t let Campbell fuck with your life anymore, even if it’s the last thing I do. _

_Sincerely,_

_Harry_

_Ps. It wasn’t one sided. I think about that conversation every day. Maybe one day we can be happy._

Allie can’t help the little burst of hope she feels inside her chest. And she really hopes this blind faith she starts to put in Harry doesn’t come back to bite her in the ass. But in the end, she also can’t contain the soft giggle that comes out of her mouth, because _of course_ Harry Bingham ends his letters with “sincerely”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come talk to be on tumblr @multishippinghoe. I have a pretty good idea where this story is going. I have 2 weeks left of online classes and then I can focus more on writing

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time ever writing for Hallie/ The Society but here goes nothing! I'm not sure if I will make this a series or if I'll just leave it on its own so please lmk if you think this can go anywhere


End file.
